3/14: encouragements galore

ugh.  movies are totally my weakness.  monday afternoon, i went up to kroger for this week's groceries, and seeing that huge "everything must go" sign at the blockbuster on plymouth sent my flesh into crazy mode.  at first, i practiced a little self-control, walking instead into the espresso royale next door, but several hours of work and a cup of ruby fruit tea later, i was perusing the disappearing shelves of blockbuster.  $6 for a movie?!  man, did i start grabbing.  by the time i'd made my way around the store, i had 10 DVDs under my arm, and i had to shamefully rebuke myself.  movies, sleep, and sweets.  the trifecta of my flesh.  my personal trio of kryptonite.

it was a hard battle, but i finally eliminated "terminator salvation," "iron man," "bounce," "wanted," "saving private ryan," "memento," and "ever after" and went up to the counter to purchase "emma," "500 days of summer," and "the lake house."  haha.  yes.  i forsook quality action films for a handful of romantic movies.  i guess its the girl in me.  or maybe im nearing that time of month.  whatever the case may be, i now have 2 of my fave movies ("emma" and "500 days") in my arsenal.  glorious.

had dinner with martin monday night.  tried completely new recipes.  i remember making refreshments with him last year in life group, when he was still didn't believe in Christ.  man, he was such a character.  i remember we made yang-nyum chicken, and in commemoration of that epic snack, i decided to make him some "Asian Chicken Wings."

martin stirring the yang nyum chicken sauce 1 year ago (1/30/2010)

our yang nyum chicken 1 year ago

martin...over a year later (3/14/2011)

martin's socks - random and hilarious.  two of many adjectives to describe this kid.

"Asian Chicken Wings" with "Spicy Sesame Noodles" and "Roasted Broccoli with Garlic & Red Pepper"

gosh.  i love this kid.  i love him because when i see him, i see God's crazy love for him.  i always tell martin this now, but i remember when i first met him, i thought he was a complete punk.  in one of our life groups at the beginning, we paired off to share prayer requests and pray for one another, and his prayer request was to "live it up" cuz college was the time to "party it up."  i remember sitting there, speechless, wondering how to respond.  yet, the strange thing was, i felt so burdened for him last year.  my heart was really broken for him.  idk why.  i remember when we were sharing about our fall-semester goals at the beginning of last year, and he responded by saying he wanted to "kill, kill, kill."  even still, my heart just broke for him.  idk.  i hadn't felt that way about a life group member before, and i think God stirred this broken desperation in my heart for him to know Christ.  i remember we would have some life group chapel times with huge chunks of time just praying for him.  i remember at the end of one particular life group chapel time, as we were going around praying for whatever God placed on our hearts, i prayed for martin, and i started crying.  haha...idk why but God placed a huge burden for him in my heart last year.

so when he accepted Christ last year, it was one of the best moments of my life.  i remember getting that call from mike with the news that martin had decided to place his trust in Jesus.  it was incredible.  i can't even describe how i felt in that moment -- there was this incredible joy that overflowed into my heart....idk...it was seriously like...idk like i felt like my heart was "soaring" or something.  after that phone call, i remember climbing into bed that night and just crying.  crying cuz i was so happy with a kind of joy that i'd never felt before.

i've always had a soft spot for him.  there's something about him that just warms my heart up.  its insane.  even after a whole year, seeing him still puts a huge smile on my face.  and even though he's this kid i barely see, i was so excited to share dinner with him on monday b/c yea, i just love him.

dinner was good, though i quickly that sticky chicken wings is probably not the best kind of food to have over a serious conversation.  hearing martin share really humbled and challenged me.  this year hasn't been the easiest for him (as all sophomore slumps are), but it was so encouraging to see him process through the trials and challenges.  it was awesome to see this guy choose to climb back up, knowing that the climb would be an uphill battle that he'd need to persevere through.  i saw a growing maturity in him that reminded me that God is really sovereign in martin's life, and that God is going to continue to guide and lead him into a deeper relationship with Him.  our conversation was also humbling because he was sharing his heart for people "on the outside" and the steps he was taking to invest in them despite all his other commitments -- it was awesome.  just a year ago, he barely knew Jesus.  now, He was demonstrating the love of Jesus Christ to others, a love that some "older" Christians like myself still struggle to practice.  it was amazing.

as i was affirming this quality about him, telling him how difficult it is for certain Christians to love people who are difficult to love, he said, referring to these "difficult-to-love" people, "well you know, that was me once.  and when i think about that, yea."  man.  idk why but that simple statement really touched my heart.  i prolly would have let my eyes water if he wasn't sitting right there in front of me.  gosh.  man, Jesus, thank You so much.  thank You so much for saving martin.  thank You so much for inviting him into this relationship with You.  thank You so much for giving him salvation last year.  thank You so much for taking care of him this year.  thank You so much for watching over him, for teaching him, for guiding him, for correcting him, for growing him, for loving him.  thank You so much.  man, God, thank You so much.  that night, i really saw Your continuing faithfulness and presence in his life, and i know that You will use him for such great things.  You're gonna use him to spread Your love and glory all over this earth.  i just know it.

met with cathy afterwards.  our conversation reminded me of how sovereign God's timing is.  its crazy!  sometimes, God calls us somewhere, and even though we have a general idea why, there's nothing tangible in front of us.  i think that's what it means to live by faith.  and whats awesome about faith-filled actions is that you make ur decision by faith, walking blindfolded, taking Christ by the hand, trusting Him.  and then, later down the road, months later, the specific provisions that affirm your decision, they come pouring through.  its been awesome to see these specific provisions tumble out of God's gracious hands in cathy's life this past year.  i hope that in the midst of all that is going on in her life, amidst all the craziness, she can really see how sovereign and wonderful God's provisions have been for her thus far.  and i hope that reflecting on these provisions will give her peace.  peace in knowing that one decision that we make is just a small wave in the huge ocean of God's grace and abundant supply.  i hope and pray that it will be God's grace, a grace that spans her past, present, and future, that she will be sinking in, not all the uncertainties that are in her immediate future.

planning meeting afterwards, which was surprisingly super encouraging.  it was encouraging because i saw that God is truly growing my co-leader's relationship with Him.  God is transforming his safe and comfortable Christianity into what it really means and entails to follow Christ, and its awesome.  even though its a painful process, im thankful, because a real relationship with Jesus Christ is what really matters, and i think for the first time in david's life, he's going to discover how worthy Christ truly is of our lives.  after 4 long years of undergrad, i feel like he's not just lightly dipping his feet anymore in the living water of Christ.  he's gonna be drowning in it.  :)

planning meeting was also encouraging because david really affirmed me.  idk if he realized that he'd given me the best compliment i had ever received -- something along the lines of, "from your life, i can tell you really love Jesus.  from the way you do your quiet times and worship and pray, i see what it means to have a relationship with God."  now, im well aware that a lot of that could be hot air.  and i know that i have sooooo much to learn about and grow in following Christ.  but if he really meant those words, then that was the best encouragement anyone could ever give me.  i guess i write this down not to be arrogant or prideful (which i know i need to guard against), but because years from now when i look back at this blog, i want to be able to say that i've become a radical lover of Jesus Christ.  when people see me, i hope they won't say anything about worldly accomplishments or worldly success.  i hope that what they will note instead is a real and genuine love for Jesus Christ.