omg. its march.
had dinner with mike on tuesday. i was gonna cook but i got super lazy so we went to panera bread instead. idk if its b/c of inflation or b/c of random e.coli infestations or b/c i'm just getting bigger, but portions are seriously getting smaller and smaller every year. i remember when sandwiches weren't the size of my palm (and i've got some have really small hands) and i remember when soups in bread bowls actually came in bread bowls. not bread teacups. in any case, i stared down at my sad-looking soup in a bread bowl, lamented over these new portion sizes, and regretted not cooking for the two of us.
oh mike. he was so out-of-it during the meal (reminded me of our first meal at potbelly's when he threw up...twice), but im realizing that our friendship is not really the kind that is encapsulated in one of those "let's-grab-a-meal" meetups. i think thats why i appreciate him so much. its not because we're similar. its not because we have similar interests. its not because we have similar hobbies. its not because we have similar personalities. i don't think we even value the same things. now that i think about it, maybe the only thing we have in common is a love and desire to follow Christ.
man, i remember meeting mike when he came in as a freshman. we were in life group together but this kid never talked to me. to be fair, i didn't talk to him either. i think i was too busy having fun with my fellow south-quad sisters. but this is why i appreciate him and our friendship: the following year, when i was a junior and he was a sophomore, after a whole year of practically ignoring him in life group, he, out-of-the-blue, took initiative in establishing a friendship. he came over to lab where i worked, and while i was grinding away at milkweed, started up the first of many conversations we shared that year. he reached out to me. he took initiative. i think that's the thing about mike: he's a guy who just loves. he pours out his love unashamedly. he's not insecure about the love he gives. he's not passive about the love he gives. he doesn't have this "i'm too cool/i don't care" attitude when it comes to loving people.
we don't do meetups. we don't do meals. but without a doubt, i know that this guy's got my back. i think out of all my years here in ann arbor, mike was the one guy, the one brother who i really felt safe around. idk. i think i had a lot of distrust, bitterness, and disrespect that i had against my peer brothers and older brothers (and a lot of subsequent repentance). but with mike, there was none of that. b/c i knew that he was a good kid, b/c i knew that he had a good heart, and b/c i knew i could trust him. i've always told him that he reminds me a lot of my younger brother (who's also a year younger than him). and its true. i have a soft spot for this kid cuz he's like a legit younger brother to me.
i know this sounds weird, but....i'm really proud of him. after dinner, i accompanied him to party city so he could pick up some balloons for this surprise bday party later that night. and as he was standing there, i was just...idk so thankful for all that God's done in this kid's life. there he was, standing in this peacoat, nice scarf, and dress pants, and i was just so thankful for how far God's taken him from the punk freshman he used to be ~5 years ago. he's got a nice, very well-paying job here in ann arbor, he's looking like a professional, he's a life group leader, he's mentoring younger brothers, he's giving his all to serving people, he's striving to love God. aw man...im so proud of this kid. i know God's really gonna take him places.
after dinner, met up with a sister who was in my past spring/summer life group. i didn't know what to expect from our meeting. i really appreciated her honesty and our times together when we were in life group together. but almost a whole year's gone by, and a lot has happened to both of us since then. i haven't really been a part of her life for a whole year. but meeting with her was awesome. it was awesome because right off the bat, there was this honesty and openness and realness in our conversation. i love that! and i think for the first time, i was really able to bare it all to her too - what i used to struggle with and what God is still healing me through. its so crazy. i knew that we had shared some similar struggles before when we were in spring/summer life group....but as she was sharing, it was crazy - i felt like i was looking into a mirror. i knew exactly what this girl was talking about! its crazy that it took us a whole year to be fully and completely be real and honest with each other...and its crazy how comforting it is to be able to finally share everything with one another. i think we spend so much time covering up and pretending that we don't ever really get to experience the liberation and joy that comes from full disclosure.
ended the night with some super dark chocolate - 84% cacao - pure perfection, one of God's greatest culinary creations.
No comments:
Post a Comment