started off the day with susie for our final ann arbor date! we walked over to kerrytown and explored the farmer's market in the morning, and i absolutely loved it. so this is what i've been missing all those sunny saturday mornings during church leadership meetings. im glad i got to stop by once before i left because the feel, atmosphere, and even reason behind the farmer's market is something i really appreciated.
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| beautiful, sunny day for the farmer's market |
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| kimchi at the farmer's market? "brined" by a non-Asian? hmm. |
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| a traditional cookie from chile???? i had to buy it! plus i talked to the vendor who was from santiago! |
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| susie on the prowl for apple doughnuts |
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| found one! |
one thing that i particularly valued about the ann arbor farmer's market was the clear investment the people buying were wanting to make in the city. buying local was a way of loving ann arbor, and that's something i want to do in northern lake county. i want to love northern lake county, not just go to school there or "have to" work there afterwards. when i was living in ann arbor, i didn't necessarily love the city. ann arbor was simply where my school was located, and even these past 2 years, being immersed in undergrad ministry, my energy, time, and sights were directed toward the UMich campus more than the city of ann arbor.
its rare to know exactly where one is going to work after graduate school. and b/c of this scholarship's stipulations, i know exactly where my first job is going to be after finishing school. that's something i can't take for granted, and i think thats even a gift from God. He's showing me that northern lake county, a place where i'll be going to school for 2 years and working another 2 years, is a place where He wants me to invest in and love.
but God, what does it mean to invest in a city? what does it mean to love an entire county? Father, help me to have the burden and heart that You have for this broken area. Lord, open my eyes to see what You see, and by Your grace, i pray that Your heartbeats for the people and condition of that place will be mine own.
i doubt there will be farmer's markets in northern lake county. but after walking around the farmer's market in ann arbor and seeing the interactions between the vendors and customers, i know that one way i can possibly love an entire county is loving the people who live there, and that means interacting with them. even if its inconvenient, spending time getting to know the businesses and locals of the area represents one tangible way.
after the farmer's market, susie and i sat in the sunlight and shared updates, struggles, concerns for the future. for a good hour and a half, without a care for our surroundings, we reminisced, laughed, divulged. we both recognized the change God had done in us since we first were roomies 4 years ago, and we both celebrated our transformations. i've already written a couple posts about susie already, so i won't go into full detail of how much i love and appreciate this sister who has been with me for the past 4 years. she's always been a source of genuine love, support, and care. always. despite everything. and that afternoon, being able to sit in the beauty of day, praising God for what He's done in both of our lives and in our friendship, and sharing our love and appreciation for one another -- c'est parfait.
and it wouldn't be a susie date without a dash of quirkiness. we stopped by the comic book store on main street, where apparently it was "free comic book day." susie and i picked up our free 5 comic books (my choices were green lantern, spiderman, thor, mickey mouse, and justice league comics) and looked through the store's random chotchkies before encountering a trio of guys dressed in star wars garb to promote the comic book store. God's favor was upon us. not only did we stumble into free comic books, but susie loves star wars.
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| sun and main street go well together |
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| inside the comic book store |
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| susie's unique penchant for hideous dolls |
and the final destination to our date was eastern accents, an asian bakery, the place where susie and i first met up our sophomore year in college.
i remember that first meetup. i remember that meetup because susie shared so vulnerably about herself, and i was so surprised. here was someone who was baring all, someone who seemed so genuine, someone without facade or subterfuge -- everything i wasn't. i think God drew me to her that day. ever since that day, our friendship has only grown, and i'm so thankful for her. from our friendship, i've learned so much about relationships, about accountability, about love, about grace.
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| trio of yum: sesame ball, custard bun, and pork bun |
met with jeko afterwards. because the day was absolutely beautiful, we ended up walking around for a good hour and a half, from our neighborhood down to the arb and back up to our neighborhood. first off, im thankful i got to visit the arb before leaving, especially on such a sun-kissed saturday. and secondly, i was surprised at how quickly the time went by walking with jeko, how easy the walk seemed. now that i think about it, in a weird way, that casual walk represents my relationship with jeko. even though we lack a specific context (in the past 5 years, we've never been in the same life group or ministry team), we're still able to catch up no matter the circumstance and comfortably share without any traces of awkwardness. no matter where we're at in our lives, what stage, what situation, the conversations we've shared retain the same quality. i guess thats something i really appreciate because we never needed that obligatory context to get to know one another. i value that organic nature to our relationship. i guess my relationship with jeko has taught me an important lesson on relationships: not every friendships don't require complete immersion in one another's lives. you could rarely see someone and still be assured that they're a friend in Christ.
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| me and jeko |
oh shlee. i have a really special place in my heart for this girl. and honestly, i don't know where it came from. but the way i feel and love this girl has no rational basis or logical foundation, so once again, i'm going to have to chalk it up to God, as im seeing is the trend behind all of my significant relationships in ann arbor. i told her this once before, but yea, there's no rhyme or reason to why she's so near and dear to my heart, and i still can't figure it out. but for some reason, my heart has been drawn to her for the past several years, regardless of whether or not its reciprocated or even noticed. and i have a feeling its gonna be this way for a while.
as mentioned in an earlier post, we were LCGs together 3 years ago in summer life group, but how i felt about her then is nowhere near to how i feel for her now. i think this connection came about last year in call of duty, the life group after that summer. and reflecting, i think God first brought us together in victorious secret so that He could lay a foundation of a trusting relationship to blossom in call of duty last year and blind side this year. without that foundation of trust that was built through LCG that summer, i wonder if she would have been as open to me as she was those years. and even when she remained tight-lipped and closed during our initial meetups, God still drew me to her, God still gave me this inexplicable burden for her. i remember one particular instance in last year's life group at the winter retreat. the sisters were all praying together, and i just remember feeling so heavy for her, so desperate for her to receive and experience His love. that desperation and hunger in prayer was a new experience of intercession for me, and since that moment, God has hooked me to her. through her, God has taught me what a Christlike love feels like. idk...i really feel like her older sister. like this not-trying-to-intrude-and-be-a-"cool"-standing-off-to-the-side older sister. haha.
at starbucks that saturday, because we were constantly interrupted by people we knew, our meetup lasted over 3 hours, but i didn't mind at all. i love spending time with her because yea...its nonsensical how much i love this girl. :)
shlee and i walked over to jay's goodbye bbq, another call of duty "alum." oh jay. he's such a genuinely good kid, and despite our limited interaction since the close of last year's life group, one thing i've observed and appreciated is that jay has a good heart. all other quirks aside, he's a good guy down to the core. though we're only months apart in age, seeing him grow in life group last year, take the unexpected step to do CSMP, and stay in ann arbor the year after graduation was incredible, joyous, and confirmed to me that God is holding onto this guy and desires a deep relationship with him.
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| COD with jay |
i love this kid. in the course of one year, a complete stranger has become a little brother to me. i really felt like we were a perfect pair, and through all the work schedule craziness, life group ministry was not at all as difficult as it could have been in large part b/c of my co-leader. when we talked at the leadership summit at the beginning of the school year, when we found out we would be leading together, and when we prayed together that first time, i didn't think that our leadership team would transform into the beautiful friendship that it's become. with my work schedule at the time and the fact i felt even more disconnected from undergrads than last year, i thought our leadership team would be exactly that: a ministry partnership, all business. unlike jon and mike (my previous co-leaders), i didn't have a prior context with eunil, so he was pretty much a stranger to me when we started life group together. and to be honest, i was content with just seeing him as a co-leader. but who knew that instead of merely serving with him, i would truly be serving alongside him through all the up's and down's? who knew that this kid would be someone i can rely on and even lean on? who knew that this guy would be such an encourager and affirmer, such a stark contrast to the other male interactions i'd had in the past? who knew that serving with him would be examples of God's love for me? who knew that i'd have such an unfailing source of support and care from him? who knew?
the thing that eunil doesn't know (b/c this is a more recent realization) is that in this year of major healing, God used him to be His hands and feet in that healing process. i knew eunil had my back. i knew i was supported by him. i knew he cared for me. i knew he was there for me. i knew he was someone who would listen. and for the first time, i would share openly about my convictions and even struggles with my co-leader. i'd never done that so openly with a brother. but i think thats not only a testament to the change God did in me this year, but also speaks to how safe, secure, comfortable, and loved i felt around eunil.
im so thankful that it was with eunil i got to praise, worship, thank, and celebrate God. i know that he's leaving ann arbor, so i'm sad that when i do end up visiting ann arbor sometime in the year, he might not be there. but i feel like i'll always have a heart connected to him wherever he is b/c this year, God gave me a new younger brother. and when it comes to brothers and sisters, its not just a flimsy friendship. its blood.
overall, that saturday was a pretty crazy day. but coming home, i didn't feel too drained. i appreciate the community in ann arbor. i love that i can walk here and there, have meaningful conversations with a variety of people, see God in different people's lives, discern testimonies that God is simmering in them, experience, give, and receive the love of Christ. there's something so rare and so special about the community in ann arbor, and im going to miss the fruitful and rewarding "bustle" of meetups. some people have asked me if i get tired or if i get annoyed with the schedule of all that, but i don't think im one to subject myself to torture. yes, i love my own time, but once im sitting down across that person, im lovin it. ahhh! im gonna miss the whole meeting up aspect of my lifestyle in ann arbor. i think im gonna miss it a lot.
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