ok so last tuesday....
met with rebecca one last time in the afternoon to help her pack.
i know that rebecca hasn't been as committed to church this past year compared to her freshman year, but i left her apt feeling really hopeful for her. despite all the times she's tried to run away from God, God loves her just the same and desires to have a relationship with her. He doesn't give up on her. i have to admit that a part of me did "let her go" this past year and allowed her to pursue other things instead of a relationship with God. but the awesome thing is that God never let her go, and He never will. even as we were sharing, she expressed a desire to return to God next year and committed to spiritual growth this summer at her home church. that desire and renewed commitment didn't come from her own heart -- they both were given by God, the Father who has been continually, persistently, and relentlessly desiring to draw her closer to Him. idk why He pursues us the way that He does, but lives like rebecca's remind me of the father in Luke 15.20, the father who runs to the prodigal son while he is "still a long way off." even though im saying goodbye to her when she's not in an "ideal" spiritual state, i said goodbye with confidence, knowing that an intimate and strong relationship is what the almighty and powerful God has in store for her.
had a grey's anatomy date with nayeon later that evening. in nayeon, i've found a fellow appreciator of the owen-cristina relationship! its funny cuz we actually don't watch grey's anatomy, but we only watch clips of owen and cristina on youtube...b/c let's face it, owen and cristina's relationship represents the only worthwhile reason for watching anything remotely related to that overwrought, mundane, unrealistic, and repetitive show.
even though nayeon's a freshie, and hence almost 6 years younger than me (yikes!), i feel like we could have been good friends in another lifetime. watching the show, commenting on the owen-cristina dynamic, and just lounging around in my living room -- there was such a chill and comfortable feel to last tuesday evening. she put me at ease, and i felt like i could be myself around her. that night, i wasn't some super-duper-older leader, but i was just her friend, and it was great to be able to simply chill out with her, a refreshing change of pace from the usual starbucks-one-on-one-let's-get-down-and-dirty-about-your-issues-meetups that were so common throughout these past 3 years of serving on leadership. i think if i were a freshie this year, nayeon would have been the girl with whom i'd click the most and the girl i'd most likely befriend.
i enjoyed my time with her so much that we also went to meijer b/c in addition to our shared appreciation of owen&cristina, we also both love late-night meijer runs! we seriously could have been good friends in another lifetime.
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| unfortunately, she swears by Goober, which is an abomination to all things peanut butter and jelly |
in the car, driving back from meijer, i was so encouraged to hear her share about her curiosity and desire to grow in her relationship with God. similar to rebecca, there was a slow decline in her commitment to her spiritual state as the year progressed as her time and energy went to other activities. but in the end, as with rebecca, though she may have turned the other way from God, God has been with her all along. He refuses to let her go. despite all the craziness and struggles of this past year, despite desires to run away, God holds onto her. i'm so encouraged by His relentless pursuit of sisters like nayeon. while we were in the car, she shared with me how she had been reading the Word daily b/c of a desire to know Him more and even voiced renewed commitments to learn more about God next year, not because she knew it was the "right" thing to do, not because i forced her to, but because she wanted to know Him more. how awesome is that? that desire to want to know more about God and want to develop her relationship with Him didn't come from herself. by God's beautiful grace, He put that desire in her heart. by His incomprehensible grace, He is still holding onto her, refusing to let her go, drawing her ever closer. i left that evening with nayeon with hope, confidence, and faith for her spiritual trajectory. no matter what, no matter how far we run away, God is a God who will leave 99 sheep for that 1 lost sheep, He will upturn tables to find that 1 lost coin, and He will run more than halfway to embrace His prodigal son. because of who God is, not because of who these sisters are, i have faith that He won't let them go, and that when i visit them next year, there will be continued evidence of God drawing them ever closer to a love relationship with Him.
Praise be to the pursuing God! :)
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