5/4: fruits & mi hermanas

met with anne in the early afternoon 2 wednesdays ago at our usual starbucks on south u, the cafe where we've shared both amusing and revealing conversations.

when i first met up with anne last year (also at a starbucks - quelle surprise), she was a bright-eyed and super-closed freshman.  i sat there, slightly amused as she opened her UMich planner, revealing her tightly-packed schedule, and thus, her anal-retentive tendencies.  and by the end of that first meeting, she had done a successful job at keeping me at arms length, disclosing just enough about herself to seemingly satisfy me.  but leaving starbucks that day, something about her closedness and personality characteristics drew me closer to her.  maybe it was the feeling of responsibility and ownership as her life group leader.  or maybe it was the Spirit's pressing.  in either case, i personally committed to meeting with her monthly that year, and im thankful that God wouldn't allow me to simply accept anne's outer surface as the end-all, be-all.

over the course of that year, with each meetup, i think God opened up her heart courageously.  i remember one particular meeting when anne boldly revealed her past and present struggles, and i knew that she had shared not because she felt comfortable but because the Holy Spirit had stirred her.  and on that day, God drew my heart to her.  the more we met up, the more i felt God guide and define our relationship.  gone were my performance-oriented inquiries; i felt like God was the one directing the questions, and i think it was God who was helping her answer.

there's a beautiful teachability about anne that i noticed last year when we were in life group together.  there were times when she'd mention things that we had talked about, and i'd contain surprise that she not only remembered and retained, but that she had also made an effort to solidify and apply.  she wasn't just a listening ear; she was a learner in the faith.  i think her teachability allowed her to grow so much these past 2 years, and i think she'll continue learning, growing, and maturing so much in the coming years b/c of this God-given trait of teachability.

its been a blessing seeing how much anne has grown over the past 2 years.  during our meetup on wednesday, the anne before me differed greatly from the anne i first met a year ago.  there she was, boasting in her weaknesses, so beautiful in her brokenness.  there she was, no longer idolizing and building her own tower of Babel, but finding the joy that comes from building the Kingdom of Heaven.  seeing the trajectory of her growth not just in a single year, but over the past 2 years, represents another reminder of the joys that come with life group ministry.  i've mentioned this many times before, but one of the greatest blessings about life group ministry comes from seeing the fruits of seeds you sow in past life group members, fruits that start flourishing a year or even several years later.  when you get to witness ur past lg members grow as followers of Christ beyond your own life group, growing in new life groups, becoming older brothers and sisters, applying lessons they've learned, seeing God work in their hearts, watching them serve, love, and obey God -- there's nothing like it.  i have no regrets about deciding to serve in lg ministry for the past 3 years -- no grand internship nor lucrative job could ever replace the joys of seeing fruits from seeds and prayers sown into ur members.  im excited to hear more "fruitful" (haha) testimonies from past members as the years go by.

afterwards, i made dinner for mi hermanas aka katie, anna, susie, and esther.  i was so excited for this dinner -- i was excited to cook and compose the different dishes i had prepared for them.  b/c i love these girls, b/c i've been so blessed by these particular sisters, i wanted to make a super special meal for them: a meal consisting of different courses corresponding to my friendship with each of them.  the menu was a week in the making, and each time i'd peruse through recipes or scan through plating designs, my anticipation grew.  i loved brainstorming words and phrases to describe each relationship, enjoyed researching different recipes, and absolutely adored designing, in my head, how the plate would appear.  while i was finishing up cooking that night, my roomies popped in and out asking if i needed help, but i felt fine.  i wasn't stressed or scrambling around; i was loving every moment of the cooking process.  this semester, i've discovered the catharsis and relaxation that can come with cooking, the satisfaction of creating a dish and composing its plating, the contentment and joy stemming from crafting a successful and delicious meal affirmed by your guests.  a year ago, if someone had asked me if i cooked, i would have laughed in his/her face.  a year ago, south university street was my fridge.  a year ago, if i was super lazy, i'd just eat rice mixed with melted butter and soy sauce.  now, i absolutely love cooking.

the menu (pic courtesy of esther...actually most of these pics are courtesy of esther haha)

onto the meal. 

first course (cold starter): sherry tomato granita with shaved asparagus salad. 

this was the course i was the most excited to design/plate

this first course was the esther dish.  on my brainstorming-for-the-menu word doc, under esther's name, i wrote "surprise" and "unexpected."  i've been so surprised at this friendship that God has exponentially grown this year.  i never would have thought that we would be friends -- we're so different and our paths never seemed to really intertwine...until this year.  idk if it was chile missions or the hangouts or the random convos or how much love she's shown me.  idk.  im so surprised.  im surprised that a girl i was once so intimidated by as the scary and super-holy east-coaster is now someone who has shown me so much love, someone i can call hermana.  God truly is a God of surprises.  so this cold starter symbolized my surprising friendship with esther b/c it was composed of unexpected flavors and textures on several different layers: the sherry in the tomato granita, the granita itself (which is like shaved ice) having a surprising texture, the tomato flavor -- something not commonly found in something like shaved ice, the tender shavings of raw asparagus, and the parmesan in the salad vinaigrette.

second course or the hot starter: shredded pork with roasted tomatoes and chipotle chiles on top of a homemade corn tostadita

this was the dish i was the most concerned about: i substituted the most ingredients with my own haphazard alternatives & i got the wrong cut of pork so the pork didn't end up being shreddable...i had to dice the pork meat instead.  and despite all the improv, this ended up being my favorite dish of the night.  thank You, Jesus!  :)

this second course was the anna dish.  the words for anna on my brainstorming sheet were "stubborn and relentless accountability."  i have a tendency to be resolutely closed, to dodge questions directed at me, and to incessantly inquire after the other person in order to leave little to no time to divulge of myself.  anna and i were leadership accountability partners this year, and she saw right through my tactics and refused to let me skate by.  she would ask me the hard questions, and even after my superficial and vague answers, even after a million "i don't know's", frustrated sighs, and exasperated "i just don't want to talk about it, ok?'s", she would press on, probing and prodding, forcing me to reflect, pushing me to share vulnerably.  she never gave up.  time and time again, she was so stubborn, so relentless, so persevering, so dogged, so resolute in asking, in sharpening, in accountability, in ministry.  i remember one time, i told her i didn't want prayer from her, that i was fine, and i literally hid under my bed covers, declaring that i was too tired for any more sharing.  and in true anna fashion, she went over to me, proclaimed that she was gonna pray for me regardless of whether or not i was conscious or unconscious and proceeded to intercede for me.  haha.  im thankful for this sister who has persistently pushed me, challenged me, frustrated me, and loved me.

to represent my friendship with anna, i wanted to make a dish that required braising b/c braising is a technique used to break down tough and stubborn cuts of meat.  a meat that is braised is cooked over a long period of time to break down the meat's tough connective tissue.  the pork in this dish was braised; i was pretty much braised by anna (haha).  i was a tough and stubborn cut of meat.  but like braising, she was gently persistent with me, eventually breaking me down. 

onto the third course or the soup course: onion-thyme soup with a huge swiss cheese crostini.  onions and i have never gotten along, so i wasn't able to taste the soup while i was cooking nor test the final product, but mi hermanas assured me that the soup was delicioso.  whew.

glad the jimmy john's bread worked as a good substitute for the ciabatta bread

this was the susie course.  on my brainstorming sheet, i wrote under susie's name, "journey of change."  i've known susie as a friend since we started living together as roomies my junior year in college.  and boy, was i an absolute wreck back then.  my junior and senior years were marked with struggling against particular bondages, and b/c susie was my roommate, she saw the worst parts of me.  i might have been able to hide my brokenness to the people outside, but inside our apartment, i couldn't hide from her.  she saw a lot of my sin, my struggles, my weakness.  and through it all, she was patient and gave me grace.  i remember one time, after i had wronged her, instead of remaining angry with me, she sat on my bed, and in a humbling display of compassion, talked me through my thoughts and emotions, demonstrating a maternal care.  and now, 4 years since we started living together, we were reunited as housemates once again, but this time, we characterized products of maturation, growth, and redemption.  this past year, she's commented on how much i've changed since we last lived together and how blessed she's been by the changes.  and the joy is vice-versa as i've also been able to witness how God has grown her.  we've grown up tremendously since our undergrad years.  hence, this onion soup.  i hate onions.  and this soup takes an abhorrent ingredient like onions, something so raw and pungent, and after simmering these onions for a whopping 2-3 hours, turns an unappetizing ingredient into a comfortable, soothing, homey, and sweet end product.

 
the fourth course or the entree: a trio of chicken.

3 different preparations of chicken: braised BBQ chicken (using the slow cooker jenny and mike got me for my bday -- yay!), oven-roasted chicken thighs with roasted potatoes, and fried chicken with ranch

and finally, this was the katie dish.  my words for her: "classic, straight arrow, integrity."  katie once commented on an unspoken understanding in our friendship, and i couldn't agree more.  our friendship isn't one of formal meetups; in fact i don't think we've ever officially met one-on-one.  our friendship is in the moment, in living with one another, in the daily life.  thats what stands out from the other hermanas.  while i've met up with or shared a meal individually with esther, anna, and susie, i've never done such a thing with katie, but i think there was still the same significant ministry, accountability, and sharpening between us, just done through naturally living life together.  whether through random late-night conversations, blunt and blindsided rebukes/exhortations, or simply observations of her lifestyle, i've been challenged by this woman committed to righteous living, a woman of strong and unwavering integrity, a woman who walks that straight path i've read about so often in the Psalms.  she is strong in these areas where i'm so weak, and i think its no coincidence that i ended up living with someone who is so uncompromisingly devoted to integrity and truth.  i've learned a lot from her simply by walking alongside her in our journeys with Christ.  yes, there is an unspoken admiration and appreciation that i have for katherine.  which is why this entree was to symbolize her.  the chicken was prepared in 3 classic ways: braised BBQ, oven roasted, and fried.  these are three no-nonsense, classic, and simple preparations and variations of chicken, also a classic and no-nonsense meat.  and thats what katie's been to me these past 2 years as a housemate and sister: a classic woman of God.

the final and fifth course (dessert): individual chocolate cherry baked alaskas.

chocolate cake, cherry vanilla ice cream, and meringue

baked alaskas have several layers: a bottom cake layer topped with ice cream which is then all covered in meringue.  while the dome is baking, the meringue toasts while simultaneously preventing the ice cream from melting.  this dessert symbolized what they all mean to me -- this is gonna sound corny, but i guess emo-ness breeds the tacky in me.  as i presented the dessert to them, i told them that the baked alaska is like my heart, and just as there are different layers in this dessert, each of them and how they've each uniquely affected me, is in my heart.  yes, i know, Cheez-Wiz cheesy.  but this is very true.  i love these girls like sisters.  they are the answers to prayers i uttered when i was a freshman in college, yearning for Biblical sisterhood with a group of girls.  they are the support, accountability, ministry, partners, and friends who shared laughter and tears.  they're the avenues through which God showed me His abundant love.  2 years ago, when my closest friend had left ann arbor, i resigned to a fate of complete independence and loneliness.  i did not expect God to provide a close-knit group of sisters.  thank You, God.  thank You so much for each of these girls.  thank You for mi hermanas. without a doubt, they are one of the greatest blessings i received in ann arbor. 

just one of many examples of how mi hermanas demonstrate God's extravagant love for me: they bought me a guitar to use to continue in my personal times of worship as i return to chicago.  a guitar (now officially dubbed ch-ch-lee-ch-kim)!  when esther busted it out and handed it over to me, i was literally speechless.

Oct 2010

May 2011

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken" (Ecclesiastes 4.9-12, NLT).