4/15: a smorgasbord friday

started off friday afternoon with jenny.  cooked some of the dumplings i made with steve and made some noodles for her too.

"Peanut Butter Noodles" and dumplings

jenny with her new bangs

i think i was a bit harsher with her this past friday.  though it was still great to spend time with her (i always enjoy my time with her), friday wasn't one of those casual conversation meetups.  i think its because im realizing how much my time with her is dwindling.  i love this girl -- i love her as an older sister and as a friend, and the most important thing to me is her spiritual health and her relationship with God.  in the past, her spiritual health was not always something i solely focused on in that there were plenty of times i simply just enjoyed spending time with her.  but nowadays, knowing that i won't be around next year, all im really thinking about is her discipleship with Christ.  whats gonna happen to her next year?  will she be continually growing, loving, and serving God?  i don't worry because of who she is, but because of who we are -- the simple and undeniable truth of the weakness of our flesh despite the willingness of our spirits.

she is such a part of my heart, and i guess im still trying to figure out what my role for her is going to be next year.  clearly, we'll have less face time, and i'm not naive about my suckiness at keeping in touch.  when people leave communities like HMCC, where such strong relationships with younger sisters are established, whats supposed to happen?  how does God want the relationship to look like?  hmm.

afterwards, met up with marla up at the sweetwaters on north campus.

had the same feeling as i did when i met with christina earlier in the week: a bi-fold of thankfulness for all that God has done this past year, but also sadness for knowing i won't be able to witness even more next year.  its crazy how much God has moved in marla's life -- the testimony of God's faithfulness, sovereignty, and provisions is really amazing, and i hope that she can recognize God's hand in all the blessings and trials of her life.  im also encouraged by the gifts and talents that God has given this very special girl.  she loves art, and she has a desire to intertwine her faith and testimony with her art.  i think this avenue of the visual arts is a medium that is parched for real truths, not the abstract fake truths that are thrust into our faces, canvases of emptiness, bereft of real, soul-satisfying answers.  this is a bold and naive statement, but i think the art world needs more of the substantial truth that we know.  the art i've seen (which is very few i admit) does a great job at pointing out facets of the human spirit as well as observations of our broken world.  but what i've seen very little of is the answer to all these qualms.  in marla, i see the possibliity, the glimpse of a new generation of Christ-followers expressing the Good News through art, a new wave of art giving glory to our great and mighty God.  im excited, and i can't wait for God to use her in this way.  its refreshing for me to meet an underclassman with such a unique passion, a passion that comes from her heart and soul, not from her parents, not from desires of financial security or prestige, but from the passion that God has so lovingly breathed into her heart.

had dinner with zach at the dorms.  yes!  i love meals at the dorms -- a free all-you-can eat smorgasbord is a rare gem.  i haven't ever eaten at north quad yet too, so i was super excited.  they've seriously upgraded their fare since i was a freshie.

serious upgrade...is that a garnish i see on top?

zach in his sophisticated garb

north quad dining hall -- the freshies this year are so pampered

the last time i grabbed a meal with zach was towards the beginning of the year, and there has been some serious change in his demeanor since then.  wow.  the change truly speaks to God's power.  i feel like the guy who i first invited over for dinner at the beginning of the school year is a mere shell of the guy who was sitting across from me this past friday.  i know that it was truly God behind the newfound confidence and security that God has been growing in him over the year.  and a greater praise is that in the same way, God is behind the different realizations that he's been making about himself and his relationship with God.  im so thankful because one thing that i've been praying for him is a real and organic relationship with God from the heart.  im praying that all the sermons, lessons, exhortations in his head will translate into this natural heart-followership.  even that desire to get to that point, a desire that is absolutely essential for change, was graciously given by God, and im thankful that zach has that desire right now.  i have an image, a dream, and a hope for who zach can be one day, and i feel really privileged to be able to see the beginning stages of this change, privileged because i see these beautiful beginnings with so much faith for his future steps. 

headed over to our church's annual grad night for the graduating class of 2011 after.  what a night!  a record 5 hours -- starting from 7 pm, pastor seth ended up dismissing us a couple minutes before midnight.  craziness.  it was a long night, but surprisingly...not long.  to be honest, i was dreading how long it would take (forgive the flesh!), but i was pleasantly surprised at how poignant the night was for me.

its weird.  when frontline first came in, i wasn't particularly connected with them.  when tempo came in as freshmen, because i was pretty much joining in with them in their first steps into HMCC, i was pretty much a "spiritual freshman" alongside them, and that connection felt instant.  but frontline was a whole different story.  while i was in undergrad, i would never have thought that i would have felt personally moved during their grad night.  but over the years, God has placed a handful of frontliners into my life, sisters and brothers who i've come to love and care for, and that night, their testimonies filled me with gratitude and praise for all that God has done.  par exemple, seeing tiger lily aka lyoon up there testifying to this greater knowledge of God as i was remembering when i first met up with her years ago when God was just a small shred of what He means to her now.  or seeing eunil up in that sharp ole suit of his, sharing out of a genuine love for God, in a genuine relationship with God, something that i have been so privileged to have seen being formed this past year.  or seeing dj testify to the sovereign God who will always be over his life as i recounted the various challenges and hard times that God placed last year when we were in life group together.  or seeing esther up on stage as a young woman now willing to be a little more broken and battered to the people around her than when she first came in as a closed and proud freshman, testifying as someone who was okay to be more like the bleeding woman or the sinful woman of Luke 7 than the put-together Pharisee.  or seeing teddy up on stage sharing about his mother, showing the congregation the heart and soul in him that God loves so much, the heart and soul that is so endearing to our Father in heaven, instead of merely external things that people may assume about him.  or seeing taebee depict the painful but beautiful truth of Job 1.21 ("...the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" ESV).  or watching sharon divulge about past wounds that i would never have imagined her sharing with anyone when i first met her years ago, witnessing her proclaim God's amazing, abundant, and endless love for her, a truth that i have been praying for her to feel and experience, and a prayer i will continue to be lifting.

but most of all, grad night reminded me of God's goodness.  God is so good.   He is so ridiculously good.  He is faithful.  He is sovereign.  He provides for every need.  He is loving.  He gives us strength.  He challenges us.  His paths for us are sovereign; they don't make sense to our narrow minds, but they are the footpaths of a bigger-than-life journey.  God is a healer; the wounds that sin brings into our lives is no match to the victory of the Cross.  looking through these pictures from grad night, the words that instantly come to mind are that God is so incredibly good.  He is so good, it boggles my mind. 

some snapshots from the night:

blind side graduating seniors!  :)

COD

blind side

Hallelujah to the Lord of Heaven and earth.  God is good, and i hope these graduates will remember His goodness in their testimonies and in the years and trials to come.